Sorry, Spirit — Real Horses Don’t Choose One Human for Life

Popular culture has long romanticised the idea of a singular, almost mystical bond between one human and one horse. From "The Black Stallion" to "National Velvet", from "War Horse" to "Seabiscuit", popular narratives often glorify the idea of a single, unbreakable bond between one human and one horse. The quintessential horse story is compelling because it dramatises loyalty, trust, and triumph against the odds. While this makes for captivating storytelling, horses are not characters in a romance; they are large, sentient animals whose welfare depends on consistent, safe, and adaptable handling by multiple people.

These stories also perpetuate a myth that a horse should only truly respond to one chosen person. It is not a healthy or practical model for real equine care. In reality, horses live in a world where they must be handled by veterinarians, farriers, transporters, stable staff, and family - sometimes children.

The Problem with Romanticised Narratives

When a horse is conditioned to respond only to one handler, it becomes difficult or even dangerous for others to manage the animal. Owners may believe that love or emotional connection alone is enough to control a horse, ignoring the importance of training, desensitisation, and practical horsemanship.

While love, kindness and creating a connection is one of the great joys of horse ownership, appropriate discipline, and swiftly correcting undesirable behaviours creates a more responsive and educated horse in the long term.

The best and most respected animal trainers do not cultivate exclusivity; they cultivate calm, educated animals. These professionals emphasise consistency, confidence-building, and clear communication, teaching horses to respond reliably in diverse situations. Importantly, responding reliably in challenging situations which have the most potential for risk to both the horse and handler, such as bad weather, crowds, or encountering unfamiliar objects.

They also pass on their skills to everyday owners and riders, translating professional techniques into practical lessons that anyone can apply. This approach ensures that horses are not only manageable in expert hands but also safe and cooperative in the care of ordinary people, raising the overall standard of welfare and safety across the whole equestrian community.

Horses require veterinary care, farrier visits, transport, and sometimes emergency handling. A horse that panics when touched by anyone other than its “bonded” person is at risk of injury and stress.

Horses must tolerate examinations, injections, and procedures from vets who are strangers to them - often when they are in pain and in a situation that is already stressful. Regular hoof trimming or shoeing requires calm cooperation. Farriers, body workers and dentists cannot work safely if the horse is only manageable by one handler. A horse that resists or lashes out endangers both itself and the professional.

Not only that, but an uncooperative horse turns a twenty minute visit into an hour - or longer. Your equine services professional may quickly drop you off their list.

Horses often need to be loaded into floats or trucks by different people, especially in urgent situations such as bushfires or medical emergencies. In agistment facilities or clubs, horses are handled daily by staff, volunteers, or other riders. They need to be approached by judges or stewards at events and competitions. A horse that cannot adapt creates stress and risk for everyone involved.

The romanticised idea of a horse bonded to only one person may feel flattering, but in practice it is limiting and harmful. To insist on exclusivity is, in truth, more about the human’s ego than the horse’s wellbeing. It is a little like being in a relationship where you forbid the person you love from interacting in a healthy way with others. Horses, like people, thrive when they are supported by a community.

True care means preparing them to be adaptable, calm, safe and willing in many hands, because that is what makes them a valued and welcome addition to a home, a club, a team, a client list and ultimately garners you more respect by others as a skilled horseperson.